Today was bear safety training. I didn't even want to think about the possibility of encountering a bear.
When Blue Meghan and I were working in Antarctica, Blue would casually mention, that after a bear entered the yard three times back home in Alaska, her Dad would have to shoot him. Otherwise, the bear would just keep coming back into the yard and that is not safe. And of course they do not waste, so the family would then eat the bear. The way she talked it was as if a bunny rabbit was digging up our garden in the city.
I was grateful to be in Alaska during the winter when the bears were hibernating. Well, most of them...For me, it was hard enough just getting my boots on over my pajamas and walking down to the outhouse with your flashlight in the middle of the night. I couldn't even begin to imagine having to watch for a bear at the same time. I would be such a nervous wreck, it would take me forever to fall back asleep.
The first rule of bear safety is to avoid encounters. If possible, take a dog with you. He will know before you that a bear is nearby. Be alert, do not listen to your music. Make noise, wear a bell, sing, stay out in the open.
(oh, I like that singing part-first time I've ever been allowed to sing out loud.)
You want bears to know you are around. Be aware of your surroundings. Do you smell bear? Do you see scat? [poop]? Do you see fresh scratches on trees? Did you come upon a food cache? Keep your bear spray in your hand and be ready to use it.
If a bear is coming your way-get out of the way. If you have fish, leave the fish. It is their food source. You can get food at the store; they can't.
If a bear sees you, DO NOT RUN!
(Really, are you kidding me-your natural instinct is to run.)
Bears will chase you. Assess the situation. How close are you? Do you see cubs? Do you see a moose kill? If you are six feet away, it is time to use the bear spray. Aim for the nose and eyes.
(You're kidding, right? Take time to aim?)
(Wait...What!? If I'm six feet away from a charging bear, I've already died of fright; no need to worry about spraying him with mace.)
After spraying, DO NOT RUN!
Do not scream either.
If it is a grizzly bear, keep spraying; back away, find an escape route. A bear on its hind legs is not threatening you. It's deciding on whether to charge you or not. Remember, bears can bluff a charge.
(Whoa...time out: how do you tell the difference?)
The bear is trying to identify you. Try to make yourself seem larger.
(Yeah, right-I'm only 5'2"-what chance do I have?)
Let him know that you are human. Calmly talk to him in a deep, low voice: "Hello, bear, I'm not here to hurt you. I'll be leaving now. You are welcome to my fish, lunch or whatever."
(Seriously, I'm supposed to have a conversation?!!!)
If it's a black bear-get ready to fight.
(Wait, how do I tell the difference?! Can you even think straight when you are in that situation? I'm from a big city. This is so far out of my element...)
Get a stick and think of him as a mean dog...DO NOT RUN! There is a time to fight. Aim for the nose and face.
(Again, that aiming thing.)
And there is a time to curl up and defend your head and vital organs. You'll know when you are in that moment.
DO NOT RUN!
If you happen to be lucky enough to have a gun-and know how to use it-aim for the shoulder. This will give him pause and then you can shoot him again. If you aim for the head, it is possible that the bullet can ricochet because a bear's skull is so thick. If you aim for the heart or lungs, the bear can still come after you before he actually dies. The outcome will not be in your favor.
By this time, I was ready to go home. I was terrified at the thought of actually seeing a real live bear. But to the people who live in the state of Alaska this is no big deal. They instinctively know what to do and do not panic or even give this all a second thought. It is a way of life for them.
After the safety lecture, it was time to learn how to shoot a gun, which was a 12-gauge, short-barrel shotgun. We would be firing slugs, as if that meant anything to me. I took one practice shot, attempting to hit a soda can in the snow bank. Needless to say, I missed completely. The recoil from the gun was intense and extremely loud, even through my ear protection.
By this point, I had had enough. I just wanted to go back to the safety of the main cabin. Upon my return, Paula questioned me: "That's it? You're done?"
"Yep," I replied. "Let the bear eat me."
Alaska is a harsh state.
